Meet Holly Beck

Hearing women’s stories between surf sessions made me realize the ways they reacted to obstacles on the ocean paralleled their responses to challenges on land.

Growing up, I was always told the things I liked were for boys—that girls should get married, have a family, take care of their kids, take care of their husband, look nice, be obedient. I spent my 20s rebelling against that lifestyle and traveling the world as a pro surfer. 

I loved the life I had created, but in the late ’90s and early 2000s, professional surfing was still a boys’ club. I was the president of the women’s surfing union, advocating for women’s rights within the male-dominated governing body of professional surfing. Before my last year competing professionally full time in 2008, I completed an MBA program and bought property in Nicaragua. I decided I needed a break from the fast-paced Californian lifestyle before I got a “real” job and settled down. In order to support myself living in Central America, I designed and founded a women’s surf retreat called Surf with Amigas. This gave me a project but more importantly, a way to import more women to join in on my surf adventures. Today, women’s surf and yoga retreats are everywhere, but back then, the program I created was one of the first of its kind. 

When I first started out, I envisioned that I would just teach women to surf and make friends while living my dream lifestyle, but what I didn't anticipate were the moments—like at the end of the day sitting around watching the sunset —when we’d start sharing stories about relationships, jobs, and families.

I began identifying parallels between what women said they struggled with on land and how things would play out in the ocean. For example, interpersonal commitment issues could often translate to not being able to choose a wave or wanting to give up too quickly. Fears of getting in others’ way in the lineup seemed to parallel the stories women told about their experiences at work, as well. I started wondering if learning tools in the context of surfing to work on those limitations might then translate to more confidence and empowerment in the rest of their lives.

I am still running surf and yoga retreats, but after a year as an intern with Groundswell Community Project as a surf therapy provider, I can no longer see surf coaching without a holistic focus. I graduated in June of 2022 with a Master’s in Counseling and am currently an associate (#APCC13293) working under a supervisor (Natalie Small LMFT#92747) to provide both in-person and virtual holistic surf coaching and surf therapy sessions.

I think there’s often a stigma around experiencing counseling for the first time. A prior negative experience with a therapist can also make one think therapy doesn’t work, or isn’t worth it. There can be fear of judgement. My style involves unconditional positive regard and a sense of humor. There is no judgement. We all have different stories and backgrounds, we’ve been unlucky, we’ve made mistakes.

My life has involved a lot of successes, but also a sampling of nearly every flavor of trauma. I grew up the oldest of five daughters in a physically and emotionally abusive household, in an upper-middle-class family primarily focused on keeping up outward appearances. I saw the effects of substance abuse, adherence to strict gender roles, and sexual trauma. As a teenager, the ocean became my place of healing, when I had no other tools. It was the only place I could explore what it might feel like to be myself and establish my own identity. As an adult I have experienced the challenges of balancing running my own business with caring for two small children, making the choice to leave a toxic relationship, divorce, losing a sister and brother-in-law to a drug overdose, and exploring my sexuality. Through it all, the ocean is still my place of healing, but I also have a lot more tools that I can use outside the water as well. By understanding the experiences I endured as a child and young adult, how they led to the patterns that show up in my life and relationships now, I have a lot more compassion for myself. Taking away the shame has been huge. It leaves space to start to make new choices, and a little bit at a time, work on establishing new patterns. As a result, i’ve become much more comfortable in my own skin, a better family member, friend, partner, and surf buddy.

Hearing people’s stories, helping them to find connections and compassion for themselves, and watching new healthier patterns form is the thing that inspires me most these days.